The ABC Of D(elhi)

Shivjeet Kullar / TNN / Jul 24, 2007, 00:00 IST

Text Size

Small
Medium
Large

Shivjeet Kullar defines the alphabet of the capital city, its ABC. Tongue firmly in cheek, what he says is very relevant for Delhizens.

Shivjeet Kullar defines the alphabet of the capital city, its ABC. Tongue firmly in cheek, what he says is very relevant for Delhizens.
Shivjeet Kullar defines the alphabet of the capital city, its ABC. Tongue firmly in cheek, what he says is very relevant for Delhizens.
Shivjeet Kullar defines the alphabet of the capital city, its ABC. Tongue firmly in cheek, what he says is very relevant for Delhizens.
Shivjeet Kullar defines the alphabet of the capital city, its ABC. Tongue firmly in cheek, what he says is very relevant for Delhizens.

doweshowbellyad=0;

CITY OF POWER (TOI)
Shivjeet Kullar defines the alphabet of the capital city, its ABC. Tongue firmly in cheek, what he says is very relevant for Delhizens.
We live in the City of Power – welcome to its ABC.
A is for Ambassador, gleaming white beasts that are one of the unfortunate perks of power.
B is for Black Cats, the more you have, the bigger cat you are.
C is for Curtains in a Car, only powerful people have these odd things.

D is for Double Cellphone, now some people even carry three of them – a travelling telephone exchange.
E is for Ear Hair, power people have a lot of it for some reason.
F is for the Fixer – an invisible glue agent that connects powerful people.
G is for a God Calender, there’s always one in their office, I guess to show how close they are to Him.
H is for Ha Ha Humility (hum to janta ke seva mein hain) –Horsedung!.
I is for I, me myself, moi, mein – cross me and I will take revenge (an I for an I).
J is for Jail, every self-respecting powerful person has been in and out at least once.
K is for Kilos, by and large there are very few thin powerful people, most of them seem pregnant with power!
L is for Lobbies – the lobby outside any powerful person’s office is strewn with the bodies of people in different stages of desperation (it’s not a loobbly sight at all).
M is for MP which stands for Most Powerful, Mr Presumptuous, Mera Papa, Majorly Pompous, etc.
N is for Numbers – the power of a person is measured by the numbers he has on his cellphone – anyone who has 98100-00000. Sonia Gandhi’s number is supreme (ha, ha did you really buy that?).
O is for Ouchh, the reaction when they are stung by a hidden camera.
P is the Pooonch – every power person has a tail of sincere sidekicks.
Q is Questions, which they answer without answering (‘we’ll certainly perhaps probably look into it’).
R is Rule No 1 – Do what you want just don’t get caught.
S is a Safari Suit – compulsory power uniform.
T is for Trust, Fairies, Santa Claus, etc – they all don’t exist.
UVWX stands for Unhappy VIP Wanting Xtra.
Y is for Yaari, scotch glasses in front, dagger behind.
And Z is for Zebras which can’t exist in the political world where there is no black and white, only grey.
Really. Dilli to power pagal hai!

End of Article